Pervert’s Library

by Puppy Sharon and Steven Toushin
Published in 2004 by Wells Street Publishing

Tempted though I am to go on and on about this book, I am going to do you and me both a favor and keep this review as succinct as possible. What we have here is a book that consists of nothing more than a D/s couple’s emails back and forth from their initial meeting through their growing relationship. If that sounds remotely interesting, I can testify that it isn’t. Even the brief bit of bestiality is ho-hum.

The best thing about this book is that I bought my copy used so I didn’t further enrich the pockets of the either the publisher or the authors of the boring vanity piece.

Self Published in 2008

Before I had my sweaty little palms on the Porn Project’s inaugural issue, I happened upon the second issue.

I read a lot of zines.Typically, the first issue is the least polished. The writing lacks a tight focus and struggles to find a voice or tries to hard to be all things to all people. As a zine grows legs and finds a voice, its writing grows sharper and more focused making for much better reading.

From a visual perspective, a zine’s first issue often has a better and more interesting layout as the publisher, not knowing what he is doing breaks the established “rules” for graphic design and comes out with something that is breaks the visual mold.Sometimes that isn’t the case though and the visual quality rises along with the production values.

Knowing that, I waited until I had read the first issue of the Porn Project to delve into the second. While I wasn’t overwhelmed with issue one, I had hopes for this issue. Disappointingly, those hopes were misplaced.

Clocking in with the annoying rubber band binding and outrageous cover price of $5, I figured that the girls (those of you with a bent for political correctness or inclusiveness can substitute women, bitches, or womyn as suits your fancy.) would give me a much better product than the first issue had for the same greenbacks. For a zine titled “The Porn Project” saying that things were only going down would seem to connote a good thing. Too bad that isn’t the case here.Compared to the first issue, this thing went down like a like a $2 whore whose trick just gave her a shine new Benjamin.

Rather than becoming clearer or more focused, the writing here seems to ramble more and astonishingly got less sexy.Not only that, the illustrations went from nondescript to eyewatering.If this is what passes for interesting insightful erotica from a woman’s point of view, I’ll stick with good old fashioned smut.

If a third issue of the Porn Project comes out, I will likely buy it. But don’t worry about me suffering by reading it. I have a plan. Instead of torturing myself with what will likely be a terrible read, I will make my girl read it first and have her tell me if it is any good. If it turns out to be as awful as I imagine it could be, I can claim it was a really intense scene.If by some miracle she reports the Porn Project rights its sinking ship, I’ll give it yet one more chance.

Self Published in 2007

While some people are put off by any hint of amateurishness in a zine, I typically find it endearing. There is something a little annoying about a zine that’s too slick or perfect. No one is likely to accuse The Porn Project’s inaugural issue of being too slick. For one thing, unlike most zines which are saddle-stitched (stapled in the middle) each issue of The Porn Project is lovingly hand assembled and bound with a rubber band.

Usually I appreciate that sort of personal attention to each issue of a zine, but that amateurishness makes the cover price of $5 seem a bit stiff. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think the fine ladies of The Porn Project are profiteering. Doubtless the writers and publishers of this would be fortunate if they broke even financially. Still $5 bucks is a hefty price tag for a publication of this type.

If that were the only thing wrong with The Porn Project, I would give it my hearty endorsement. Alas, despite its name, The Porn Project is devoid of anything approaching porn. Instead, you get bad poetry and some ho-hum “herotica.” It’s a shame really since girl porn tends to be much better than boy porn; I expected a much better offering from an all woman porn product.

That said, the first issue did show promise and the women of The Porn Project do deserve some praise for getting off their asses and making the sort of porn they like instead of griping about the sort that other people make (yes, I am fully aware of the irony here).

If you want to get a copy in your own sweaty palms, you can contact The Porn Project via MySpace at www.myspace.com/thepornproject. (Maybe you’ll have better luck than I did.)

by Richard J. Lambert, MD
Published in 1936 by Franklin Publishing Company

Like Sex Facts for Men, Sex Facts for Women is a condensed version of the Dr. Lambert’s book Sex and Marriage. This booklet is not only a vivid reminder of how society’s view of women’s sexuality has changed, but also serves as a near perfect example of how the traditional view of femininity severely limited women’s opportunities in society.

The first section is devoted to the “Anatomy and Physiology of the Female Generative Organs.” Amid the straightforward description of the female reproductive system, Dr. Lambert drops this bomb which made me pity Mrs. Lambert, “The important organs…are the uterus…and the vagina. Besides these there are others of less importance, as the clitoris and the vulva.” To be fair, he doesn’t completely ignore the clitoris. Later in the chapter he mentions:

“The clitoris has a tiny foreskin similar to that of a male, and like that of the male organ sometimes this foreskin is bound down too tightly and causes irritation. An operation similar to circumcision in the male must be performed to relieve the nervous irritation.”

I can’t help but wonder what exactly constitutes “nervous irritation.” I suspect it’s a condition found in girls who enjoy touching their nether regions, and can’t help but wonder how many girls had their genitals mutilated for their “own good.”

The next section of the booklet is devoted to puberty and menstruation. It’s here that Dr. Lambert starts to really go off the deep end. He claims that at the onset of puberty girls should be protected lest they suffer from too much mental strain. He even recommends that a young woman be allowed to cut back on her studies so as to not “overtax her strength trying to keep up with her classes.” Parents are advised to expect their daughters to develop an interest in the “domestic arts” and encouraged to let their daughters pursue this interest even though the mother can do household chores more efficiently.

The other sections continue in similar fashion covering reproduction and pregnancy. Not surprisingly, unlike Sex Facts for Men, there is no mention of masturbation. Presumably that’s because girls, even bad ones, don’t do that.

Aside from the vivid examples of the antiquated standards by which women were judged in decades past, there’s not much to recommend here.

by Lady Cynthia Lovebirch & Others
Published in 1972 by Venus Library

If the cover and publisher’s note is accurate, this book was published in Victorian England. While searches of the book’s title and author proved fruitless on shedding light on this claim, the plot and language of the book certainly lend it credence.

The book pretends to be the report of a series of lectures given in the homes of various high society ladies as they share with each other the virtues of corporal punishment for not only the correction of wayward ladies but for their erotic amusement. There really isn’t much plot here per se; each of the various “lectures” includes a demonstration of corporal punishment and introduces a new wrinkle in the manners of spanking, whipping, and/or flagellation and includes an episode of lesbianism. While some readers might find the lack of plot development here off-putting, pervert that I am, the lack of plot bothered me not one whit.

When I began reading the book, the dated Victorian prose was a bit difficult to discern, especially because so much of what transpires is described euphemistically. However, as I continued reading not only did I grow more comfortable with the prose, I felt enamored with the beauty of the language used. Reading this book made it almost seems possible that folks I have known who reported they enjoy Shakespeare because of the beauty of his prose weren’t pulling my leg after all. Almost.

In addition to the lovely prose, this book includes lots of obscure words I hope to add to my active vocabulary. For instance, tribade (in this work it is merely a synonym for lesbian, though apparently it is more properly lesbian frottage), Calligype (I presume a noun form of Callipygian: having finely developed buttocks), rotundities (self-explanatory), and so many terms for various sorts of women’s undergarments I lost track. If only my elementary school teachers would have used them, the school aged me would have enjoyed English class instead of dreading it.

That reminds me of my one point of warning; many of the spanking victims are teenaged servants. However given the age when this was presumably written their inclusion can be forgiven.

If you enjoy lesbianism, Victorian writing, corporal punishment, old time women’s underwear, or flogging, spanking, and the like, Uses and Pleasures of the Rod is for you. If not, why are you here anyway?

by Joan Kelly
Published in 2006 by Carroll & Graf

The subtitle of this book is also a fine synopsis as Kelly documents her discovery of her kinkiness. In short order she goes from a novice sexual adventurer to a somewhat jaded professional submissive.

This book opened my eyes to the mere existence of professional submissives. No doubt I’m naïve, but while I’m familiar the concept of a professional Master/Mistress (I’ve met more several), being a professional submissive always seemed too risky a proposition for anyone to pursue. At least that’s certainly the impression I have gleaned from repeated reading of memoirs of ordinary hookers and true crime books. Also, I can’t help but wonder where professional submissives would fit in the pecking order of sex workers. My best guess is that, like with mainstream sex workers, independents have a higher status than agency girls in turn who have a higher status than street workers. But that’s just a guess. At any rate, they certainly are much less visible than other categories of sex workers. If Kelly’s book accomplishes nothing else, she single-handedly has raised the profile of professional submissives not just in my mind, but the alternative sexuality consciousness. And for that feat alone she deserves kudos.

Readers hoping for shocking descriptions of sexual depravity won’t be entirely disappointed, but for the most part the interests of Kelly’s clients are, even to a naïve pervert like me, fairly tame. The most shocking part for me was her admission that seeing an extremely well endowed man excited her immensely. You’ll have to read the book to learn the rest, but it did confirm what I’ve always both suspected: despite women’s protests to the contrary, size really does matter.

Why the book is short on the lurid, I don’t know. It does not seem likely that it was because her clients simply lacked any other outlet for their kinky explorations. Nor do I think they were simply too shy to share their more extreme desires (it’s curious the kinks that people feel comfortable and uncomfortable sharing.) What seems more likely is that in order to engage in edgier play one needs to have a more intimate relationship with their partner than one can have in a professional session (I’m sure those familiar with the requests made of professional Masters/Mistresses might quibble with that point, but the difference is that it requires much less commitment to have something done to you, than it does to do to someone else. The notable exception is your average psychopath, but they are notoriously poor negotiators.)

I suppose it’s also possible that lurid descriptions of scenes aren’t included because Kelly simply didn’t include them perhaps out of the fear it would hurt her credibility. The credibility of a memoir is always suspect. People’s recollections tend to paint themselves in the best (or occasionally worst) possible light. This is especially true when for memoirs about illicit activities. That said, Kelly’s account seems fairly credible to me with one exception: early in her career as a submissive she describes a humiliating encounter with a client who cancelled a session appointment to play with a more attractive colleague. Even though I’m familiar with the magic of photography and makeup, looking at Kelly on the cover and in pictures from her book tour, provers her to be attractive. I find it hard to believe that she would passed over because of her looks.

The only flaw in this book is its extremely abrupt ending. While it was refreshing that Kelly didn’t proffer any regrets about her career turning the book into a morality tale or try to eloquently defend the choices she made, when I got to the last page I couldn’t help but wonder if there wasn’t a final chapter that was omitted. That aside, The Pleasure’s All Mine is a great book that every kinky person should read.