Todd

The Sensual Art of Masturbation front cover

By Grace ‘M’
Published in 1982 by Media Press

A note in the first few pages of this short book claims that it was originally published as “Masturbating with Style.” Unfortunately, none of my cursory web search turned up any information about the first incarnation of this book or its anonymous author.  However, based on the language Grace ‘M’ uses, e.g. “have a come”, I would guess that this was written in the early 1970s.

Grace begins by observing that women have many more options for masturbating than men do.  She also notes, “Jacking off is an alternate way of getting your rocks off, not a second rate substitute.”  She then describes her first experience masturbating (raiding her mom’s porn stash, a stash consisting of only one book).

The book continues by extolling the virtues of various masturbation techniques and aids such as dildos, vibrating crotches, and the like.  She also describes the pleasures of Ben Wa balls though she refers to them by the previously unknown (to me) name of Rin No Tama.

The next section changes gears again discusses the virtues of giving a man a handjob, explaining the differences in technique to use with the circumcised and uncircumcised penis.  Grace even gives etiquette advice about the delicate matter of cleaning up an ejaculation:

“And for god’s sake, be ready when he comes. There’s going to be a quantity of come, jism, cream, semen, whatever you want to call it, but it’s going to come shooting out of the end of his prick and it’s going to be taken care of. Now I maintain, and have ever since I first started fucking for real, that it’s the chick’s responsibility to take care of the come. After all, in a regular fuck, he’s shot it up into a chick’s pussy, and it’s her responsibility then, so why is it any more unreasonable to think that she should take care of it if she’s produced it in some other way than fucking?”

My immediate reaction to the suggestion that it was a girl’s responsibility was that I am responsible for my own aim. But after thinking about it, I agree with Grace to a point.  A girl will need to be prepared to wipe off her face (assuming, of course, you’re in a generous enough mood to let her).

I am unconvinced that a handjob counts as masturbation – to me the difference between self- and full-service is night and day.  Another thing I have wondered about is what exactly constitutes a handjob.  For example, I will always maintain that someone with two prosthetic arms cannot be the giver of a handjob.  I also maintain that if the hand belongs to a monkey you have left handjob land for bestiality.  However, I am not completely averse to considering counterarguments.

Grace meanders from the joys of masturbating a man to sharing her voyeuristic thrill in watching a group of guys masturbate, to a discussion of male masturbatory aids.  Every time I visit an adult toy store, I always wonder who comprises the market for pocket pussies and the like.  I always envision my bloated corpse being found inflagranti delicto and the subsequent photographs serving as comical, but unwanted, internet memorial to yours truly.

After more discussion about the virtues of handjobs and finger fucking combined with a lot of teasing, Grace rails against the idea that masturbation is shameful.  She then introduces a new topic: bottle fucking.

Describing her first foray into bottle fucking, Grace admits being fearful of the empty bottle becoming stuck after forming a vacuum seal, so she prepares her bottles with warm water and a cork.  If you find yourself suddenly inspired, you can find corks in the specialty bolt section of most hardware stores (you’re welcome).  I won’t spoil the book by revealing all the details other than to mention that Grace brings an unintended meaning to the slogan “Have a Coke® and a smile.”

Front cover for Masturbating with Style

Next Grace tells us how a man can use a wide-mouthed bottle as a masturbatory aid.  No, not as an anal stimulator, but instead by stuffing it with meat and an egg to create what is in effect a DIY pocket pussy.  The idea seems more likely to induce laughter than arousal but perhaps I am narrow-minded.

Grace also mentions the possibilities that a love doll might provide, though she admits she has no firsthand experience or observations to share.  She wraps up the book with a section devoted to group masturbation and introduces us to a device of her own construction.  The device consists of a pair of panty hose modify to have an extra pouch in a very intimate place to create a different sensation during coitus.  It seems like an idea that presages the female condom by two decades. It also reminds me of an article in Secret Magazine written by a hosiery fetishist who claimed that pantyhose are a sexy as “an ingrown toenail.” If you happen to be an ingrown toenail fetishist, please drop me a line at todd@pervertslibrary.com.  I definitely want to hear more about that.

Even though The Sensual Art of Masturbation is a little dated and meanders from topic to topic, this remains a nice treatise on the virtues and techniques of masturbation.

Update:  Since I originally posted this, I acquired a copy of the first printing of this booklet which was originally titled Masturbating with Style.  In addition to having a snazzier cover than the re-release, it includes a handful of photos and a copyright date of 1977.  While not exactly earth shattering, I wanted to mention it for completeness.