Front cover for How to Use Your Computer Internet Skills to Get a Date or Have Sex with a Video Porn Star, Stripper, Escort or Model

By Broderick Hackenmiller
Published in 2006 by Nonstop-internet

Apparently targeted at guys who spend way too much time looking at online porn and way too little working on their personal hygiene, Hackenmiller offers tips on how to trade computer skills for sex with porn stars, strippers, escorts, and models.  Though I have never tried out the techniques the book suggests (and never will), I am certain following the book’s advice will fail every time. Not only do I lack the words to describe how bad this book is, reading it proved to be an hour of my life I will never get back. Avoid at all costs.

Front Cover for Pornotopia Issue 2

Edited by M.A. Sirk
Published in 2010 by Pandora Press

Full disclosure: M.A. Sirk sent me this zine at no cost.

The second issue of “Pornotopia” continues the themes of the first issue while improving its execution.  The introduction explains the origin of the name “Pornotopia.” In the next article Sirk talks about how he discovered his sexuality from his childhood through his adolescence.  Like the first issue, there is an article devoted to amateur porn, a featured fetish/interest (female body hair), fiction, and a travelogue of a trip to a nude beach.

The best thing about “Pornotopia” is Sirk’s writing style.  Too many fetish writers fancy themselves evangelicals who are converting the uniformed.  Worse still are those fetish writers who are preaching at the choir.  Refreshingly, Sirk does neither.  Instead, Sirk describes his personal fetishes in a conversational matter-of-fact style. The reader feels simultaneously like Sirk’s old friend and a voyeur secretly observing Sirk’s most private moments. Sirk’s fearlessly reveals his most intimate thoughts without sounding as though he is boasting or trying to scandalize the reader.

To order a copy of Pornotopia, contact M.A. Sirk at pandora_press@hotmail.com.

Front cover for Erotica Grotesque

by Anonymous
Published in 1972 by Color Climax Corporation

I know it is cliché, but I really do read dirty magazines for the articles.  Ordinarily I would not have much time or use for a magazine that lacked articles or other text.  However, “Erotica Grotesque” is anything but ordinary.  Presented in its pages are images of labial piercing, lactation, pregnancy sex, extreme vaginal stretching, and more in all their genital hair glory. Though it is only 32 pages long  (each page consists of a single picture), this thin digest-sized volume packs more of a wallop than the average fetish magazine packs in 100+ pages.

It serves as a good reminder that all manner of dirty sex existed long before the internet.  If you come across a copy, do yourself a favor and buy it.

Front cover for The Complete Enema Guide

By Art Hamilton?
Published in 197? by Mark Distributors

The Complete Enema Guide is one of the hardest books I have chosen to read and review here on the site.  It is complicated for a couple of reasons. First, there is scant information available about the book itself.  I am unsure if I recorded the author and publisher information on this particular addition to the library. The inside front cover lists the copyright as belonging to Art Hamilton and Mark Distributors as the printer. While I did find an online reference to Art Hamilton as a supplier of enema-related toys, I have no idea if Art Hamilton is a company, a person, or both.  Adding to the confusion, the inside back cover contains an ad with Art Hamilton above the address. In the end this is not a matter of much consequence save for the fact that it makes tracking down similar work much more difficult which is a shame since I really liked this book and would enjoy having more pieces like it in my collection.

The second reason that this has proven a difficult book to review is that while The Complete Enema Guide presents itself as how-to for enemas, as a how-to guide, The Complete Enema Guide is terrible.  While I am averse to kinky sex books that read as safety manuals written by corporate attorneys, most of the information presented in this book about enemas is unclear, haphazard, and potentially dangerous.  Despite this, The Complete Enema Guide is one of my favorite reads.

One might fairly ask how I can enjoy a book that does a terrible job of presenting its subject.  The main reasons are that despite its spectacular failure as an instructional guide, the book provides an unvarnished view of 1970s gay New York at its zenith and the author’s contagious exuberance leaps off every page.

The author’s candor in discussing his enjoyment of enemas, anal fisting, rimming, poppers, and so on is entertaining and reminds modern readers of a time before there was any such concept as safe-sex.

Written in a conversation style, the book presents personal stories to provide examples to educate the reader.  One story in the middle of the book is told from a third person perspective, but the majority of the stories are portrayed as the author’s personal experiences.  Unfortunately, the stories are disjointed and unorganized and as previously mentioned fail to provide any useful advice for starting enema play.   Inside the text there is a mention of T.A.I.L. (if anyone has information about T.A.I.L., please drop me a line) which suggest that the book was originally written as a series of magazine articles which were later cobbled together as a booklet.  If that is the case, it would explain the haphazard nature of the text.

While the text is interesting, it suffers from multiple typesetting and/or editing errors.  I did not count a single page that was without an error; however these errors tended to be missing letters or obvious words so they proved to be not major distractions.  Also frustrating is the lack of illustrations in the book to help explain the enema equipment being used or how it might be set up.

My favorite part of the book was its final section which is dedicated to the rarely discussed topic of golden enemas.  A golden enema is, simply put, urinating directly into the anal cavity, and it can be a highly erotic experience for both parties. I am not completely certain why the subject of golden enemas remains so under-discussed, but I suspect that it has something to do with the taboo nature of the act and the fact that it tends to not lend itself to being filmed.

At any rate, the author’s discussion of the finer points of a golden enema does well to explain its appeal as a sex act.  As he puts it, “No other act of friendship between two males can be as intimate as that except for cock-sucking and, perhaps, ass-fucking.”  (Am I the only one that thinks once you piss into someone’s anus the two of you are a bit more than just friends?)   As fun as a golden enema is all by itself, post-golden enema coitus is simply amazing, but be prepared for a bit of a mess.  As the author explains, “After you’ve injected…with your piss, you may just leave your cock in place and proceed to fuck him.  Some piss will dribble out around your plunging cock, and make it a really juicy lust fuck. ”

Despite suffering from a number of problems that would make a modern book unreadable, The Complete Enema Guide is an amazing book that serves to not only discuss a topic that remains taboo over thirty years after its publication, but also documents the sexual mores of a time and place that many would willfully ignore.

Sin-A-Rama front cover

Edited by  Brittany A. Daley, Hedi El Kholti, Earl Kemp, Miriam Linna, and Adam Parfrey
Published in 2005 by Feral House

Subtitled “Sleaze Sex Paperbacks of the Sixties,” the bulk of the coverage in Sin-A-Rama is concerned with the sex paperbacks published in the early to mid-1960s, before the relaxation of obscenity laws.

The first section consists essays by and about many of the people responsible for creating the sex paperback industry.  Highlights of this section include Robert Silverberg’s “My Life as a Pornographer”, Stephen Gertz’s “West Coast Blue”, and Brittany Daley’s “The Lost Artists.” Unfortunately, the essays are scattershot and fail to construct a clear narrative.

The second section consists of cover galleries divided into various themes.  The covers are wonderfully reproduced in bright colors on bright paper.

The final section of the book is a bibliography of publishers including their active years, cover artists, authors, and sample titles.  There is also a listing of  various authors and their pseudonyms.   Despite its short length, this section is the jewel of the book for paperback collectors.

As a devoted fan of sex paperbacks from the 60s, I had high expectations for Sin-A-Rama.  While I was disappointed with the first section’s lack of cohesiveness, the cover galleries and reference materials in the back make this book an indispensible reference that I will consult for years to come.

Sex and the Armed Services front cover

By L. T. Woodward, M.D.
Published in 1963 by Monarch Books

L. T. Woodward is a pseudonym for the prolific science fiction author Robert Silverberg who apparently has quite a devoted following in his chosen genre.

Another in the long line of fictional psychiatric studies presented as legitimate case histories,
Sex and the Armed Services is an entertaining example of a sex pulp published before the Vietnam War and sexual revolution.  While the descriptions of sex are fairly vivid, they avoid being lurid.

The book is divided into fairly predictable chapters that mirror the stereotypes of its time.   For instance, the chapter devoted to homosexuals claims that gay soldiers actively recruit naïve young men into homosexuality.  Female soldiers are described as either nymphomaniacs, frigid, or lesbians.  There is also much discussion of overseas romance, prostitution, and extramarital affairs.

Most of the stereotypes seem quaint today.  However, there are a few that are particularly shocking when read today.   Most striking was the case of the rape victim Rosalie.  Rosalie is described as a tease who wanted to remain a virgin until marriage.  Because of reputation as a tease, her rapist was given a suspended sentence while Rosalie was discharged as being unfit.  If that bit of blaming the victim wasn’t surprising enough, a “psychiatrist” reviewing the case made this observation sure to rile victim advocates everywhere:

“…I’d say the best that could have happened to this girl is what Daniels (the rapist) did to her. Maybe he smashed up the complex of neuroses centering about her virginity, and left her free to live a normal life.”

Overall, this is a fairly entertaining, if un-titillating read.

Whip Worship front cover

by Cliff Barrett, Ph.D.
Published in 1972 by Impact Library

The attention grabbing cover blurbs promises insight into a world of women who “live and love by whip and pain and twisted torture” and “…females who attain amazing summit fulfillment by painful agony aberrations.” Unfortunately, Whip Worship reads more like a series of random stories thrown together willy-nilly instead of a cohesive narrative of any form.

The first scene of the book is a rather standard case history of two teenage sisters. (Well, the tale they tell of turning tricks while hitchhiking isn’t exactly standard but the “case study” format of the concerned psychologist is.)

Next, we are then treated to a first person account of a group of soldiers enjoying the spoils of war.  Even though the gangbang triple penetration described therein is arousing, the abrupt shift in writing styles is abrupt so much so that it proves distracting.

There’s little need to describe the rest of the scenes – they vacillate from tired third person narratives of sadistic prostitution rings to the confession of a depraved bisexual masochist – the sort of girl that fantasies are made of – to an upper class masochistic man who enjoys the charms of street urchins of both sexes.  It’s the last vignette I mentioned that serves both as a crescendo of depravity and the books’ highlight.   Despite the fact that it wasn’t at all arousing to me sexually, the vivid descriptions of enjoying cunnilingus with a VD sufferer and the glass table show made me feel a little morally superior.  No matter how twisted or demented my fantasies might become, I can take solace in the fact that I haven’t sunk quite as low as Mr. Upper Crust.

In sum, this is a mess of a book.  Readers who enjoy their smut straight, predictable, and internally consistent should stay away.  However, sick fucks like me will find themselves happy.

The Submissive Female front cover

by Anthony Parr, Ph. D.
Published in 1971 by The Dolphin Press

Reading this book left me with one unanswerable question: why are Danes so hairy?  Don’t get me wrong, I like some hair down there.   In fact, it creeps me out when there isn’t hair down there.  The desire for hairlessness seems like the purview child molesters.  Creepy.

I don’t know why, but I frankly never imagined the Danish as hirsute.  Part of me is curious to search the internet for modern Danish porn to see if Danish women have discovered the necessity of pubic grooming.  But the other part of me is scared nothing’s changed, so I’ll continue in blissful ignorance.

The hairy sex pictures were really the highlight of the Submissive Female.  In this book, Parr sets out to trace the lowly social status of women throughout history.  He begins with conjecturing about the status of females in pre-history assuming they were only valued for their ability to bring males pleasure.  Subsequent chapters focus on the status of women in Greek and Roman societies, 17th century England, Russia, and France.

As he traces through these societies, Parr often focuses on women of high status and relates how they cruelly treat their slaves and servants. He credits this behavior to their identification with their own abusers, but shows no evidence to back up this claim.

There really isn’t much to recommend here.  There are a few titillating passages which merit some interest.  Unfortunately, I can’t help but think the original stories which Parr cites are vastly more entertaining and informative than his presentation of them.

A Switch Hitter Follows the Ads: A Sex Odyssey front cover

by Jill Baker Boyle
Published in 1969 by Ram Classics

This book is the “autobiographical” account of Jill’s travels across the U.S. as she meets men and women that she has met through adult personal ads.

As our tale begins, Jill is home in Los Angeles with her husband, Lance, and her lesbian lover, Elise, preparing to bid them adieu as she departs in her van for a year of carnal adventures.  After a goodbye evening of “triple loving,” Jill discovers her lovers have a surprise for her going away present: a painter has added “Hi-Ways and Bi-Ways” to the back of her customized van.

Jill’s first stop on her adventure is a meeting with a shy young lesbian, Joan, who lives a mere ten miles away.   Inside Hi-Ways and Bi-Ways, Jill introduces Joan to the joys of lesbianism while parked outside the Laundromat.  Before Jill departs, she plays matchmaker for Joan and her landlord.

Pressing forward on her journey, Jill travels to San Francisco to meet Mark.  After a few days of shared passion and a night of drunkenness, Jill and Mark make their way to meet with Mark’s old girlfriend, Cora.  Mark and Cora’s earlier romance ended because Mark was a high class boy and Cora was a girl born on the wrong side of the tracks.  I won’t spoil the action for you, but this tryst contains the book’s best line “Take off that cheap nightie, baby, and let me see those tits of yours.”

Jill’s heads to Denver to meet a young married couple, Kansas City to meet a frumpy librarian with an interest in dildos, on to Chicago to meet with a transvestite named Robert, and finally to Indiana to meet yet another shy young lesbian, Lois.

We learn that Lois lives on a farm with her brother, Tom, and his wife, Wilma.   Tom turns out to be an abusive drunk and Wilma is the object of Lois’ desires.  Eventually, all four of them have an encounter on the farm which culminates in the best visual scene in the book.  I can only describe it thus: garden hose enema.

When Jill tires of fun and frolic at the farm, she and Lois head to New York, the last stop in Jill’s itinerary.   Jill plans to attend a private sex party and the final scene really heats up.  But I won’t spoil it for you, you’ll have to read A Switch Hitter Follows the Ads: A Sex Odyssey to see how it all ends.