Directed by Bill Zebub
Released in 2005 by Bill Zebub

This review is the first I have ever done for something that I don’t have in my personal collection.  It is also the first movie reviewed here.  This is a hard movie to describe and harder still to review.

As I thought of what to say about it, my thoughts were informed by concepts like subversion and transgression. This isn’t because of what the film contains but rather because of what the film lacks.  Even the most inept filmmaker includes elements like plot, setting, character development, narrative, and so forth. Despite protests from some corners, this is true even in porn.  There’s a reason a cumshot can also be rightfully called a climax.  Somehow Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist contains a savant-like genius because it contains virtually none of these elements.

It is as though the Zebub has thrown down the gauntlet and challenged the viewer to a mano-a-mano endurance contest.  Where most directors might wish to challenge the audience to rethink their own values or worldview, Zebub’s opus is tacitly hostile towards its audience. The result is a trial of wills that even an Andy Warhol fan would be wise to not take.

Actually, that’s all wishful thinking.  The best part of Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist is the title.  The movie consists of a few random bondage scenes that introduces a slideshow all set to a droning death metal soundtrack. It’s a giant mess right from the beginning as the introductory title card (there’s no dialogue) contains a misspelling that gets things off on a confusing club foot.

The movie then goes tediously from one incoherent bondage scene to the next separated by title cards that are designed ostensibly to propel the story.  Unfortunately, there isn’t a story to tell, or if there was one, the movie failed to communicate it. That’s not necessarily a bad thing; sometimes a plot ruins what would be otherwise enjoyable porn.  Worse still, there’s nothing remarkably erotic, sexy, or even titillating about the scenes.  It’s as though the camera cuts away before the foreplay even begins leaving us with an incoherent mess.

After we endure the pointless bondage scenes, the movie’s second half begins. It consists of bad crucifixion bondage photographs (many of which were badly Photoshopped).  The title card that introduces this mess claims that video slideshow was sent to the police.  I can only imagine them being interested in tracking down its creator to punish him for boring them with this tedium.

The version I saw of this was apparently a remake.  As bad as this was to sit through, I shudder to think of how awful the original was if this was an improvement.  After all was said and done this was an hour and a half of my life that I want to squander on something, anything, else. Other than people I dislike and porn addicts, who would find this the methadone of erotica, I hope no one else suffers the misfortune of sitting through this film.